I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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