you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
