So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
