Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
