We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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