Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
