Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
accomplished twins. life is a go
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
