If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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