is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
