Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
two words: eviction party
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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