i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
