i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
