SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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