Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
