Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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