i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
