So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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