dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
