Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
