so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
