Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize