Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
