I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
