I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How external is "for external use only"?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize