I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
