he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize