You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
