In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize