You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
