'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
