Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There's always time for handjobs
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
