Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
