Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
