she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
