Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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