He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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