We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize