you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
