You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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