Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
