pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
