i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The Olympian is in my bed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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