Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
