is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
