So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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