Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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