haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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