I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
