Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
