1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
