my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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