dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
