i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
