So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
