i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We don't watch enough power rangers
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize