So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
