He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish life had little blips of pornography
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
