I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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