I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
