He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
