But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
