So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize