ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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