you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
