I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
