so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
