We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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