party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She just used a chaser for red wine.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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