oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize