Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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