She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
